Alcohol and College Students
How I Approach the Subject With My Students
College and alcohol. They just go together, right? According to many, they are synonymous. And this becomes very apparent when we see that at some school events, at some schools near me, beer is served to students who are of age because it fits the celebration (ie. beer at an Oktoberbest/German event). As a college minister, how do I deal with the topic of alcohol when it arises?
Generally, I figured it is best that I would be the one to address an elephant in the room before it catches me or my students off-guard. I bring it up, but not right away. Discussing a topic like this requires a good relationship with students because of the cultural expectation to partake in some way, shape, or form. I want them to know my personal stance on the substance and how I handle things like that if or when they arise. Doing this knocks down a ton of barriers and stigmas that students possibly have when it comes to people in ministry which is typically a posture of anti-alcohol. They need to know that the stigma is there for a reason and that the stigma may be misplaced or ill-informed.
The conversation is usually light-hearted despite it being a very controversial subject and that is the goal. Light-hearted conversations about subjects that divide allow for the most benefit and learning for everyone involved. However, just because a conversation is light-hearted, that does not mean gravity is sacrificed. A college student who leaves a conversation like this feeling condemned, ostracized, or unheard is a student who likely will not show up next week or be given one more reason to leave Christianity behind because of a Christian. Therefore, by the conversation’s end, there are no hurt feelings or consciences, and everyone enjoys a good laugh or two. My students leave the conversation edified and (hopefully) thinking. As an apologist in college ministry, those are two of my main goals. To edify my students with the gospel and to get them thinking about the gospel as deep as they can.
What do I usually say to them when this conversation comes up? (Remember, it will come up because I bring it up.) First order of business is to get a lay of the land and let them talk about what they were taught and what they currently believe. This gives me insight into how they will handle alcohol, party invitations, and, potentially, other substances offered to them. By asking them about where they are, this opens the opportunity for them to ask me where I am at with alcohol. Remember, this is a conversation that happens after the relationships are established. Because I want them to be transparent with me, I afford them the transparency by revealing where I stand on the issue. This transparency applies to everything we talk about in our meetings.
Once we lay out where we all are at with alcohol, the next question is what the Bible has to say on the subject. We have a few passages that we will dive into so that we get a lay of the land. For this we use the proper hermeneutical method and refuse to read a Bible verse. Instead, we take into consideration the surrounding text and context of the reference to alcohol.
After seeing what the Bible has to say on the subject, without doing a PhD seminar on the topic, we take another survey of their positions. I do this because I want the Bible to inform their positions, transforming them to be more Christ-like about everything and not the other way around. We want to make sure we are exegetical in our beliefs and not eisegetical. I assure them that it is perfectly fine that their beliefs do not change or that they just aren’t sure afterwards. Decisions like this can be weighty for them so moving to agnosticism about the relationship between alcohol and the Christian is okay.
Because I know the depths of human depravity (I mean, I am one), one thing that I make abundantly clear to them is that if they find themselves in a situation where they need to be taken home, I will do what I can to make sure that safely happens. If that means calling an Uber/Lyft to get them home safely, they can call me to make that happen. However, this does not mean we will not debrief shortly thereafter. Debriefing is contingent on the relationship I have with that student. If it is a newer student that I do not know well yet and just so happens to be at the meeting where this topic is discussed, then I likely will wait to address it. This is not out of fear of them leaving but because the relationship is not there. I have no relational capital to trade on with that student and I jeopardize the eternal impact if I come off too strong in the wake of a boozy evening.
This debrief is an accountability structure for the students as they navigate being on their own and feeling the freedom to test the waters of adulthood. I am thinking especially of the first-year students. First-years students are brand new to the world that is college life and brand new to being away from home for extended periods of time. One of the ways that I see college ministry working its way out into the lives of students is an “uncle” type of relationship. An uncle has a special type of relationship with his nieces and nephews. He is not a parent which means there is less stress to keep a specific type of façade yet there is still hard conversations that happen. When it comes to those who are officers, the expectation is much higher. This helps maintain the integrity of the student plus the group of students they are helping to lead.